偶然。。。

游云, 撒下了一大片清涼,
讓晨光下輕輕的納了一身涼意.
輕湮, 渺渺飄起, 漫不經意地訴說著它的故事。。。
白雲不曾對晴空承諾去留，偶爾暫且留住，
看似無心，實似有緣。。。

偶然相遇的时候，
如月夜星晨，轻风吻面。
时间如光如影，悄悄地轻轻地从指间滑过。
因为偶然，所以才特别的短暂，
甚至是一眨眼，所以这瞬间才显得特别美好和珍贵。

偶然

我是天空里的一片云，
偶尔投影在你的波心，
　　你不必讶异，
　　更无须欢喜，
在转瞬间消灭了踪影。
你我相逢在黑夜的海上，
你有你的，我有我的，方向；
　　你记得也好，
　　最好你忘掉，
在这交会时互放的光亮！

写于1926年5月，初载同年5月27日《晨报副刊·诗镌》第9期，署名志摩。

If ONLY...

Perhaps it's only the memory,
Merely the joys and sorrows in life.
But those things I thought were so pointless,
Why do they still plague me without rest?

If only, like a childhood without nightmares,
Without pain that draws out ceaselessly,
If only these two shoulders bore a lighter weight,
For I pity those who suffer as I do.

Life is a bed of ROSES?

MaMa...with a beautiful mind

MaMa, Thank you for inspired me all these years.
Happy Mother's Day

19 OCT 2006
我和我妈在自己居住的城市假扮游客. 买了一张巴士的Day Pass到处去. 早上到了唐人街喝茶去. 然后再到附近的一间历史悠久的庙宇上香. 最后再去Petronas Twin Tower Skybridge. 偷得浮生半日闲其乐也融融.

往事並不如煙

這本書描述大時代一群知識分子的命與運。章詒和是以晚輩的眼光側寫父母的友人──史良、儲安平、張伯駒、康同璧、聶紺弩、羅隆基等人，他在中國大陸「反右」及「文革」的血雨腥風中，整肅、清算、鬥爭的紅潮席捲下，受迫害的、參與迫害的，這些人之間的恩怨情仇與人性的幽微曲折，在她細膩的筆觸、獨特的視角與溫厚的學養，將其風骨刻畫出來，也折射出一個時代的風光雲影。

書中謂：「生活是一部法律，甚至是酷法。普通人除了服從以外，又能怎麼樣？」然而，作者以一己記憶對抗官方歷史，用個人書寫抵拒集體遺忘，此書給世人的最大啟示，不在弱者仍能平反，而在提醒了強者：但凡還有記憶與書寫的存在，往事便不會如煙，是非亦沒有塵封的可能。此書另一動人處，乃在透悟了政治的底醞，政治惡象並不會隨時間消逝，必須世人時時警惕。往事固不如煙，前途亦未清朗。

■作者簡介
章詒和，章伯鈞的女兒。1942年生於重慶，中國戲曲學院畢業，現為中國藝術研究院研究員。

咱们都说去日苦多，去日之所以苦多是因为伤口依然是伤口，未曾结疤。

worldBOOKday

閱讀的理由有千百種, 如果不嘗試閱讀, 我們永遠不會知道自己為什麼閱讀。

一個國家的進步, 不是看它擁有多少了不起的硬體設施, 而是國民的閱讀水平來到那一層次。
閱讀的世界充滿了無數的問題, 線索, 疑團, 困惑, 等我們去尋找答案。
早上我閱讀彼得杜拉克, 中午我閱讀愛因斯坦相對論, 傍晚我閱讀卜洛克的推理小說, 晚上我閱讀夏宇詩集; 早上我是一名精明管理者, 中午我變成科學家, 傍晚我轉換為大偵探, 晚上我化身成詩人。 閱讀讓我自由變身。
閱讀是你一輩子的伴侶, 無論你潦倒或富貴, 她永遠陪伴在側。
閱讀會使你一直發現自己的不足, 會使你一直讓自己變得更好。
閱讀是最好的心靈SPA。
閱讀是一扇門, 引領讀者去面對這個表象世界的背後。
閱讀, 可以滿足無窮的好奇心。
閱讀一本夢寐以求的書, 如同擁有整個世界的快樂。
人生本來就該浪費在美好的書本中。
知識等於財富。
每一次閱讀, 都讓我對這個世界有多一點的認識, 我沒有自閉症, 我渴望擁有更大的世界。

KAK Maria

KAK Maria來至印尼, 一來就待在PENANG, 在我叔叔經營的咖啡店待了整11年. 現在的她已經能夠操得一口流利的福建話.

我媽常誇說她是一個勤力的人.

在我哥眼里, KAK Maria是一個SUPERMAN. 因為她能夠輕易的用腰圍扛著兩包10Kg的白糖, 從對面的老家越過馬路扛到咖啡店去. 我哥走的時候, 她也哭了。。。

在清明時節, 我回去了PENANG. 去了鶯羅茶室一倘. 閒聊間(也拍下了這張照片), 我發覺我更喜歡她的樂觀.

KAK Maria, 我想說：

Semoga dirimu senantiasa berbahagia.

正如曾經聼過有個印尼傭人說過"Kurang masin, tambahlah garam. Kurang manis, tambahlah senyum...也许她就是以微笑添加生命的欢乐。

A PRECIOUS HUMAN LIFE

EVERY DAY, THINK AS YOU WAKE UP,

TODAY I AM FORTUNATE TO HAVE WOKEN UP,

I AM ALIVE. I HAVE A PRECIOUS HUMAN LIFE.

I AM NOT GOING TO WASTE IT.

I AM GOING TO USE

ALL MY ENERGIES TO DEVELOPE MYSELF.

TO EXPAND MY HEART OUT TO OTHERS.

TO ACHIEVE ENLIGHTMENT FOR THE BENIFIT OF ALL BEINGS.

I AM GOING TO HAVE KIND THOUGHTS TOWARDS OTHERS.

I AM NOT GOING TO GET ANGRY,

OR

THINK BADLY ABOUT OTHERS.

I AM GOING TO BENEFIT OTHERS

AS MUCH AS I CAN

father & son

a BIRTHDAY wish。。。

安順有棵樹。。。

我表哥家门前有块草地，草地有棵树，是热带常见的raintree。长得很茂盛。他们都住在安顺，也是我母亲的家乡。

你今晚要早點兒回來，promise?

這是我的姪兒。他來自PENANG，今年8歲。前一陣子，因為工作的關係而時常夜歸。他曾經因為等我的歸來而在客廳睡著了。就睡在他用自己喜愛的玩具砌成的四方城内。今天在我出門時。他要我許下承諾: "你今晚要早點兒回來，promise?" 我未婚，不曉得家里有個人在等著的心情是怎麼一回事。但是可以肯定的是那天，当我听到这么的一句话，我心軟化了。 原來被需要是可以那麼的令人感動。那天，我回去了。

看看手錶，才7點鐘。

20050922 - 0925 amazing THAI

http://asmarakopi.blogspot.com/2005/09/dinner-at-blue-elephant-bangkok.html

20050911 Sekeping Serendah...

蔡美珠－明眸皓齒，帶點稚氣。性格開朗，樂於助人，脾氣雖急躁點，做事卻認真，果斷，有主見，有魄力。

劉彩群－嬌小玲瓏，好動且愛笑，人緣好；個性開朗活躍，敢言敢，為本校圖書館管理員及救傷隊委員。

楊文嘉－外表文靜卻是個健談的人，性格坦率豪爽，惟性情急躁。對事物有其獨到的看法，華文不錯，是本校籃球代表之一。

胡月霞－外表開朗的她，性情率直，健談，略帶點孩子氣，時時露出排整齊的牙齒，使人有歡樂感，是班上的快樂天使，姑為同學們作弄的好對象。對事務有主見的她，不但寫得一手漂亮的字體，且擅長於寫作，也是一位盡責任的學長。

黃月華－竟然沒有簡介。

林麗婷－她是本校圖書館管理員，人緣極好，樂於助人且辦事負責，對英語頗有心得。

區寶君－清秀可人，人緣極佳，乃學長團文書，成績名列前茅，辦事負責，不失為一位可交之朋友。

張鳳如－怎樣也看不出她會集班長，主編，圖書館管理員於一身。個子嬌小，愛笑愛跳愛鬧。說話像機關槍那麼快。友善，誠懇，坦率。鬧情緒時堅持得可怕。上課常心不在焉。

謝秀莉－文靜，勤勉是她的美德，為人友善，樂於助人。做事盡責對攝影有偏好，是位可交之友。

陳健敏－個子高高，性情溫和，待人誠懇，人緣頗好，外表帶點書卷氣，對於功課也很認真，尤其是數理方面，對攝影頗有心得，擔任攝影學會黑房管理一職。

鄧肇基－喜愛數理。陸地能跑，入水能游的“燒雞”。是本刊的攝影師和本班足球隊的翼鋒。

楊淑芬－她有一雙亮麗的眼睛，臉上常掛著可愛的笑容，性情樂觀，平易近人，對功課從不馬虎，英文也不錯，做事認真盡責，與錢結下不解之緣，故連續擔任本班正財政多年，也是本刊副主席，學長團團員之一。

劉建明－戴著一副眼鏡，樣子斯文，喜歡開玩笑。和他在一起，妙語如珠，不怕沒得笑；生氣時不愛出聲。是足球愛好者。

王泰和－外表文靜，性格坦率豪爽，愛好開玩笑。不喜歡參加任何活動，喜歡獨來獨往。國語不錯，羽球是他拿手的運動。

郭炳華－他的身材修長，皮膚黝黑，交遊廣闊，運動是他的專長且功課也不错。

美玲－嬌小玲瓏的她，清麗，文靜，隨和及健談。為本刊的華文文書之一，成績也不赖。

李素珍－臉常帶笑容，人緣極佳，且樂於助人，處事認真，盡責，也是一名運動健將。

鄭毓通－為人健談，愛鬧且好辨，但沉默時卻令人難於置信。有點懶散的他，平時對功課雖漫不經心，但成績卻令人又妒忌又羨慕。

7749

29th May 2005, marked the 49th day since my brother, ShyangLong passed away on the 10th April 2005 and he was only 41. My family was in Penang to perform the traditional obligations for him as this is a day called 7749 day.

Time sure fly. It was just like yesterday when I'd received call from his son telling me that his dad was sick on that night, 10th April. How our family made the 4 hours trip back to Penang that night? How was his son and daughter reacted to the passing of thier's dearest BABI (a name that my brother was called by his son and daughter)? How was the ceremony held during his funeral? And all this moments will remain in the deepest place of our heart.

On the day when he was cremated, his coffin was carried along the route to crematorium by his acquaintances, showing thier last respect to my brother which'd surprised by many as this has not been a practise for ages. All of us were sad as we'd came to know that he'll be turning into ashes in a while, looking helplessly when the coffin slowly subsided and vanished into the flame at the crematorium.

I guess it is the most painful moments to say good-bye to those you love, who'd left without saying good-bye, not even a word.

After he has goned, my 2 sisters, myself and another brother, the youngest in our family, spent some times together, soothing, comforting, and retelling our shared memories with my elder brother, love filled the spaces between our words. A love so strong that, even in this deepened silence that followed our last good-bye.

Somewhere, somehow he is still very much vivid in our life.And by talking to his friends like revealing another side of my brother, the side known by his friends, not any dark, naked side that we unknown of. Little by little, we became reacquainted with this knowledgeable, gruffly loving man who once was an angry man, finaly found a lifetime of rage transform in compassion for his family and even for himself.

I still remember clearly how he'd cracked a joke about the shorter life span our family member has when I first striked and survived with a stroke episode in year 2000.

His only son, YiQuan, once said it sadly after looking at my family (my mom and the other 4 of us), while having breakfast at McDonald Gurney one day, "Grandma, you have 5 children, lost one and left only four." My mom weeped immediately after listened to what he had to say. Yes, it has left us with an incomplete feeling among ourself because there'll be a broken link - an age gap between my elder sister and me. It'll never be the same again, not anymore...In every conceivable manner, the family is link to our past, bridge to our future. If there is another life after this,I wouldn't mind to have him as my brother again.

Good-bye for this life and see you in another...

小男孩和小女孩

once upon a time, an angel in the sky,

made a comfort every night...　　

once upon a time, the angel loved me so,

it's a miracle in the snow,

my heart won't be cold...　　

my dear, you are my angel,

tell me what you know,

something should be told...　　

my dear,you are my angel,

tell me where you go,

I will breathe behind your love...

once upon a time, my angel give me life.

Happy 38th BIRTHDAY to ME

CAUTIOUS: The journal you are reading containing 'SYIOK SENDIRI' elements. DO NOT PROCEED IF YOU FIND IT OFFENSIVE. HaHa.

This journal also served as a reminder to you that I came to this world today 38 years ago. I'm turning 38 TODAY. Just saying that sentence out loud feels unreal, like I'm talking about someone else. 38, WHO? ME! Unbelievable! I don't feel it at all.
I remember my sister, Jessica once had said this on one fine day.
'When I look in the mirror, I always think, What's happened to me? I just can't understand why I have all these wrinkles, all this gray hair? She was grinning, as was her way. 'Because I feel exactly the same as I did when I was 18.' She was probably 35 then.
I spent my 20's finding the bliss at cocktail parties and clubs, while bouncing from job to job, vaguely zigzagging up a ladder of sorts, only to make a difficult though rewarding shift in my middle 30s to a job often undertaken by people much younger.
GONE are the days of living to please other peoples and making judgments about what others should be doing to please me. Well, I can't seem to shake this nagging feeling that I've wasted too much time getting here and that I'll soon be too OLD to get anywhere else. TIRING, huh?
There is nothing wrong inherently with 38, but I haven't taken to it very well. It is one of those transitional ages with little identity of its own: a pit stop you make as you barrel along the interstate toward 40. For most of us, at least, it's too late for college or building a business empire. Anyhow, 38, hopefully this number which phonologically mean a blessing of 'growth and prosperity' in Cantonese, may bring a wide grin to ME.
As one friend put it, 40 is when you realize that your life is your life and that you probably won't be making anything radically different out of it. The anxiety that creates is new to me. For the first time, I recognize that the possibilities for reinvention are narrowing. Though my sister once said, I feel like a teenager, full of ambition and dreams about the future, but lately that has tempered by the creeping suspicion that these could only be fantasies I will never make real.
I begin to tell myself just to get over it. I am LUCKY to be healthy and loved and to have figured out the little I have. And besides, after decades of self-struggle, yearning, learning of living with a stroke episode; had given me a certain wisdom. I finally felt that maybe, I had something valuable to say.

NOW is the BEST time in our life. The years before were definitely harder.

# # #
CHEER UP and enjoy today because it will get worse.
# # #
Everyday?is a NEW day.
# # #
WRINGKLES is a collective noun for beauty of cumulative wisdom.
# # #
It is too soon to get OLD, too OLD to get WISE.
# # #

P/S: Life used to be a rat race. Everything was about being better than everyone else, and I was never contented with what I had. Then came lately, a friend of mine, who are just a tiny bit older report an enviable sense of self-knowledge, confidence, calm and inner peace. I can only hope to get there, TOO. PLEASE HELP IF YOU KNOW THE WAY.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SEAN

The Ring Searching Route