Friday, March 21, 2003

different LIGHT...

It's been 3 years now......
It's all began on 21Mar2000 ( I was 34 then), I was rushing out to beat the time, to be able to get into office by 0830hr that morning. Just as I stepped out from the door, I had the vertigo feeling. I withdrew and lied on my bed for rest and dosed off after.
If my memory had served me correctly, I remembered I'd slept for about 2 hour and woke up by the feeling wanting to pass motion. I suddenly felt my face slant to one side and go numb on the right side. I couldn't speak properly. I was slurring, just can't control the movement of my right limbs and an excrutiating headache came on soon after.
My family was petrified. They immediately called for an ambulance and rushed me to Hospital UKM. By the time I'd reached the hospital, I was semi-conscious and unaware of whatever was happening. All I could feel was the acute pain from my throbbing headache. I felt like I was in a comatose state for several days. When I regained full consciousness, I opened my eyes and saw my family and close friends around me. I was happy and comforted to see them and attempted to get up. But as soon as I tried to raise myself, I immediately fell. I was overwhelmed with fear this happened. I felt so uncertain during the whole duration of my stay in hospital.After 2 weeks in the hospital, I was discharged from the hospital though I'm still unable to walk probably. I took a 3 months leave from my work place where i'd worked for 5 years as a tour operator. Everything start from scratch again, learning to walk, to use my right hand, and most importantly, to be able to look after myself.
I begin to search informations about stroke during my medical leave. A stroke occurs when there is an insufficient supply of blood to some part of the brain and a loss or alteration of bodily function results from it. The human brain must have blood flow through its many vessels for it to function at peak levels. If for some reason, the blood flow is obstructed to any part, the brain loses its energy supply and becomes injured. If blood is obstructed for more than several minutes, the brain cells injury becomes permanent and tissue die in the affected region.
As a result, the more I'd learned, the more depress I became. Because you'd learned the fact that some damages is done to your body and it's here to stay for the rest of your life.
Stroke is the third leading cause of death in Malaysia. Chances are, you know someone who have suffered from a stroke. it is important to know that stroke is not a condition which only affects the old. This is my confession about my life as a stroke victim. I went into great depression till I'd to rely on medication to control my mood swing in year 2001. I was reserved, having low self-esteem, going through the lowest point in my life and I was even thinking of giving up myself. Doing nothing at home the whole year (2001) even worsen the situation.
Then come to year 2002, a medical report changed me. This medical report of myself show no inprovement of my health but deterioting. I'd cried that night when I got the report from the hospital. I was asking is it the end or is it too early for me to call it gameover. One thing I must agreed that I was lucky enough to have a positive little voice came from heart telling me that it's aint too bad. I can changed it if I want to. This voice sound little but the impact is great and supportive.I begin to change my lifestyle. I'd stopped smoking, begin to execise, find my inner peace in religion (help a lot) and most importantly, I begin to work again. Only this time, I'd worked for myself, I offered financial solutions to my clients for which I'd gained my qualifications in year 2002. Financial solutions mean a financial plan for oneself in unit trust, investment, insurance and taxation.
And here I am now, always remind myself to take thing easily.

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