7749

29th May 2005, marked the 49th day since my brother, ShyangLong passed away on the 10th April 2005 and he was only 41. My family was in Penang to perform the traditional obligations for him as this is a day called 7749 day.

Time sure fly. It was just like yesterday when I'd received call from his son telling me that his dad was sick on that night, 10th April. How our family made the 4 hours trip back to Penang that night? How was his son and daughter reacted to the passing of thier's dearest BABI (a name that my brother was called by his son and daughter)? How was the ceremony held during his funeral? And all this moments will remain in the deepest place of our heart.

On the day when he was cremated, his coffin was carried along the route to crematorium by his acquaintances, showing thier last respect to my brother which'd surprised by many as this has not been a practise for ages. All of us were sad as we'd came to know that he'll be turning into ashes in a while, looking helplessly when the coffin slowly subsided and vanished into the flame at the crematorium.

I guess it is the most painful moments to say good-bye to those you love, who'd left without saying good-bye, not even a word.

After he has goned, my 2 sisters, myself and another brother, the youngest in our family, spent some times together, soothing, comforting, and retelling our shared memories with my elder brother, love filled the spaces between our words. A love so strong that, even in this deepened silence that followed our last good-bye.

Somewhere, somehow he is still very much vivid in our life.And by talking to his friends like revealing another side of my brother, the side known by his friends, not any dark, naked side that we unknown of. Little by little, we became reacquainted with this knowledgeable, gruffly loving man who once was an angry man, finaly found a lifetime of rage transform in compassion for his family and even for himself.

I still remember clearly how he'd cracked a joke about the shorter life span our family member has when I first striked and survived with a stroke episode in year 2000.

His only son, YiQuan, once said it sadly after looking at my family (my mom and the other 4 of us), while having breakfast at McDonald Gurney one day, "Grandma, you have 5 children, lost one and left only four." My mom weeped immediately after listened to what he had to say. Yes, it has left us with an incomplete feeling among ourself because there'll be a broken link - an age gap between my elder sister and me. It'll never be the same again, not anymore...In every conceivable manner, the family is link to our past, bridge to our future. If there is another life after this,I wouldn't mind to have him as my brother again.

Good-bye for this life and see you in another...